Venting

Complaining really gets me nowhere so I won't even bother much... but my job lately has been rather annoying. I know jobs tend to be... but there really was a time that I loved my job. One manager at the time actually nicknamed me Sunshine because even when I was slammed with crap I just smiled through it. I am a creative person and in a way, I was creating things by making my sundaes look awesome like the menu shows.... people ask for me and are happy when Im working. I have made some good friends and acquaintances and they made it fun to work. Even on a bad night, everyone else was in the same boat and helped out. Lately, it is a different story.
Ever since the whole switch of ownership, everyone there has been stressed, pressure from above put on our managers who put pressure on others and it goes down and everyone is fed up with the place. MY specific problem is that a year or two ago (my God, I've been there FAR too long!) the managers actually gave a damn and checked the previous shifts to make sure stuff was done and done properly. I couldn't leave unless my fountain area was looked over and stocked and cleaned properly. Which I was FINE with because I have no problem with following the rules. I leave the place as I'd like it left for me. BY THE BOOK. Nowadays, I come in to a complete disaster and get excuses like "there was no fountain person today" or "They went home early so its not stocked anymore" or "Oh, it was busy earlier" (which I hear, it was busy, i felt frantic and decided to hurl reeses pieces all over the place so you can pick them out of the freezers and grout at the end of the night...) The "sunshine" has left the building... I now tend to draw into myself and everyone thinks I am pissed off, I AM, but not at them... I just close off since I am uber frustrated there. For those of you who don't know what my night job is, I work in a restaurant behind the scenes making ice cream sundaes and desserts. I also tend the take out window. and I close which means I am acting janitor as well bc they are SLOBS who leave giant messes for me... but ANYWAYS!
With the whole health issue I have been dealing with, I called out one day and then decided to go in as long as I didn't strain myself too much. A few of the coworkers actually pulled together and stocked milk and ice creams for me since they are crazy heavy. I am eternally grateful for that.

This all was spurred from seeing this silly picture online and thinking about how I have 2 more years of night working until I can go back to the bank and make real money with insurance, perks, vacation, and benefits. We go back and forth (the hubs and I) about if I should just quit or stay. (I constantly sing songs like the Clash's Should I Stay or Should I Go and Dead Kennedy's Take This Job and Shove It in my head while I work....). One one hand, I still masochistically like my job and I like having the play money and the extra money for the household... on the other hand, I would be FAR LESS stressed without that place on my mind... but then I might worry about money.

happy taking pictures!

This is all further motivation to be a photographer. I just really need to take the time to take a refresher course and build some sort of confidence as a "professional". I plan to take a baby step forward and try some "mini sessions" maybe and charge a small feee for snapping some candids for Moms and kids or engagements or whatever. Build myself up and make a portfolio... get some practice with people... that is my major downfall. I am awkward as shit. All I know is that taking pictures is what I was meant to do with my life. I take pictures every day. I glow when I am photographing anything. I live and breathe it.