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Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Life With Goober *an update of sorts*

So it occurred to me that I never did a follow-up post about the tantrum issues I have with Jackson... They have not disappeared, but they definitely have lessened in number and in intensity (for the most part) I have tried a number of techniques and have found a few rhythms that seem to work. His sister tends to provoke him into whining and screaming more than anything, but we are trying to end that as well. She wants to be a little Mommy to him and boss him around and I keep trying to get her to see its not ok. but thats entirely another issue...
The boy has his ups and downs on a regular basis... but who doesn't. He comes from a super sensitive mother and a quick tempered father... he seems to have inherited both of these traits and I can see it conflicting in his head sometimes.... like.. hhmmm do I yell or cry right now... My new theory is UBER patience. It gets crazy hard and I am getting used to ignoring stares and glares in public... but pacifying the tantrums only appeases the strangers around him, but will do nothing long term in helping him deal with his problems. I calmly get face to face with him and quietly - and sometimes sternly if needed - talk to him and try to get him to use words. I was doing this before, but now I have chosen a technique and won't flip flop around from one way of discipline to another. Stick to my guns.. ya know? This way seems to be helping him verbalize his troubles. I am also trying really hard to refrain from calling him "bad".. or a "bad boy" bc that def is a trigger phrase for him. Sissy tends to say it to him and he loses it... I know it can be detrimental to his budding self esteem and awareness of self worth and borderline verbal abuse in some ways... I have read up on it and realized how much I actually said it before... Negative energy has no place being transferred to a 3 year old. I am really trying to improve my momma skills here... and raise well adjusted kids.

Here the kiddos are playing a card game before ballet... they are loving it and all of a sudden, he pouts... he wanted a yellow card but was dealt a blue one... this caused a whining session that a few weeks ago would have been a complete meltdown but we are getting better with talking through emotions. I simply said hey, you can try again next turn and he got over it...

 Today we went bowling... This happens to be one of his new favorite activities - we plan on going often. Today was kind of rainy and blah so I surprised them with 2 rounds today. He started out cheering us on and dancing around... high fives after every turn and then for no reason at all (or at least an obvious one to us) he got sullen and sat down with his lip out. It took some kneeling in front of him and some hugs before I got out of him that Sissy used his green ball on her turn. Progress. This would have been a code red tantrum a few weeks ago. We still have a crazy sensitive Goob on our hands but dare I say it - he is improving.

 He really is the brightest little sweetheart who loves to wake me up minutes after closing my eyes in bed after work to "nuggle" (snuggle) when he has trouble falling asleep (he is SO me sometimes...) and dance to any music - even if no one else can hear it :) Reminds me of my HS senior quote... "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music" - George Carlin 
 Keep dancing and smiling little Goober <3 He constantly reminds me that he "got big"... he really is growing so fast...
Hopefully it really was just him trying to squeeze some terrible two's in before he turned 3 :)

11 comments:

  1. Sounds like you are doing all the "right" things....Love him!

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  2. Awesome. You're a great mama! I just cannot wait to meet that little man...finally! And to see/meet Maris again! ♥ ♥

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  3. is it normal to take a photo, complete with flash, when your kid is upset about something

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  4. very bold of you... anonymous...

    He is pouting, not sustaining an injury which I am ignoring or something.I snapped the picture after we had our "talk" about what was wrong. I like to document all of their emotions in some way - not just pictures of forced smiles saying "cheeese" like most people. You've never seen pictures of kids in full blown tantrums before? I think it is perfectly normal.... if not normal, at least acceptable.

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  5. Some people are just straight out negative, all we can do is ignore and move forward!

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  6. They must not have kids. I tried to comment, but I hit something and it deleted it before I could post. I think he looks adorable pout and all. Maris beauty as always.

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  7. Sounds good, Marisa, and I love the photo.

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  8. Is it normal for someone to comment on a blog about people that they don't even know? because if you are criticizing THIS mom, you definitely don't know her or her kids. Get a life of your own!

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  9. I love pictures in real time. Real emotions. I think your Goober is just teating tue waters. Stick to your guns. I wish I had taken more pics of mine doing those types of things

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  10. http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/25/opinion/sultan-miller-facebook-parenting/index.html?hpt=hp_c1

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  11. Anon - this is definitely something I have thought about... I still stand firm in that I am not hurting them.I never post details or dates of when we are going away until we get back for safety reasons and things to that nature.

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